So there we are sitting on my bed and not talking and then talking and not looking at each other and then looking and it was awkward and yet strangely not and EEEEK!
I need a nap.
We didn't do much that first day at the house except...
we did talk, and kissed finally, and talked some more and kissed a LOT more and hugged and kissed, and remarked on how good we tasted, and kissed and then mom came in and so we had to be good
...GRRRR.
"Is your new friend going to stay for dinner, honey?" She asked
...and I drew a blank since the subject hadn't come up yet. SO I did the honorable thing...
"Y'wanna?"
"Sure."
"Ok, mom. Dinner it is."
Course dinner
was just oh so wonderful. Mom remarked on what impeccable table manners Charlie had and I immediately felt like the third pig in the line at the trough, and damn near went OINK just to confirm everyone's suspicions although I had always been credited with above average table etiquette. But dinner was a roast and all the trimmings and as always superb and Charlie graciously thanked our cook, and I burped REALLY LOUD, just to keep the image flowing. Mother was NOT
amused but...
Charlie offered to help with the dishes, just to continue the image of him being PERFECT and all but was told we had kitchen help for all that, and so he learned around here if it can be hired done, it IS. I felt vaguely embarrassed. Something told me Charlie didn't come from this much affluence and I later learned I was
right but he was
kewl and I also learned (already had) that he is always the
epitomy of awesome. So much for MY being a standout in the perfection department.
Dad asked Charlie if he wanted to play some pool after dinner and after looking at me as if to ask permission (and I nodded), they went and mother and my younger brother and I followed
to the game room. It was a rout. I am still laughing. Charlie TROUNCED dad and then my brother Jake both of whom consider themselves pool sharks. Well the sharks became goldfish tonight. Then dad said he had some work to do and Jake had to study and mom was going to a
friends, so it was just Charlie and me and we headed back to my bedroom. I had no clue how this was going to turn out, but I had hopes.
Sorta.
Embarrassed to
admit but shall we say I am a wee bit inexperienced in the
amor or
umor or armoire whatever department and had NO clue if Charlie was or not. I was
kinda eager to be with him, and yet
...no sense rushing things I figured although as I said, I really liked him and...
We sat as before and talked, listened to music, talked, and talked, and talked
...and then he leaned in and kissed me, and much more passionately than before and by the way it felt I gathered that oh
yeh, he is experienced
...and then he pulled back a bit and got beet red, and suddenly...
"Sorry, that probably seemed pretty grade
schoolish,"
and no it
hadn't,
"But the truth is I have never been with a dude before, or anyone else for that matter."
"REALLY?" I
thought but didn't say and I guess it came across as being really surprised, and he blushed even more.
"
Yeh."
"Neither have I."
He looked relieved.
"
Yeh?"
"Honest. Nobody. You are the first boy I've ever kissed," I
blushingly admitted...
"REALLY?" and he looked relieved,
"
Yeh," and I was relieved...
"Ok, then we even," He
kinda said and
kinda laughed and
kinda...you know.
So there we were, inexperienced as hell, and I wondered what to do next.
Would we be able to figure that out?
And yes we did.
But it wasn't easy, this inexperience thingy. There aren't any road maps and no webinars to speak of and I just couldn't seem to talk to mother about what do I do and what to expect, and I didn't think dad would have a clue either, not being gay and all
...and is it different? Or is falling for someone the same no matter the orientation? I didn't have a clue and no one I knew I thought would have either. I didn't have any gay friends that I knew of. So it was
gonna be me and Charlie muddling through
together I guessed and we would either get it right or we wouldn't. Sigh.
No, we didn't make love that first
night nor right away, although eventually we did. LOL. Oh yes we did and if you can call doing it and giggling a lot
...then yes we did and it was wonderful BECAUSE we KNEW we were in love. I still think that made the difference. We waited and let our relationship grow and by the time we were
intimate so to speak, it was so much more I think. I knew I was glad we had waited and I know Charlie was too.
But you keep thinking in the back of your mind when, and if, and what will it be like and will he love me afterward, and
will we stay together and if not I know I will just DIE, and all the usual head stuff of love fame. The mental hall of fame stuff I guess. I do think from talking to friends that everyone goes through that and it is hard to say the least. You just wanna get through it and get ON with it and can't wait for that awkward part to be over with, but I guess there is a reason for it and maybe in the end you do go through it because you must. Rite of passage and all that.
As I said before my folks loved Charlie from the git-go and so did my brother Rick, and when my older brother Jack came home from college he did too. Hit it off they did and I felt sometimes as if I was gonna need to schedule an appointment just to be with my own bf and I laugh but that was
kewl and it sure as Hell helped. I knew that and I have always been glad that Charlie and the fam have gotten on so well. Made my life a lot easier.
______________________________________________________
CONTINUE TO CHAPTER IV
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