My God, that first day of senior year of high school. What a fiasco. It is a wonder that I wasn't kicked out and sent back to 3rd grade or something and I wouldn't have gone unless Charlie could go with me and when told of this of course he would scream and holler and pound his fists on the desk until the tears flowed and his face turned beet red and that would have assured him going too. Never let it be said we aren't into melodrama.
Like I said, I am nuts and off kilter most of the time and never in control, and...ok, I was a kewl human UNTIL Charlie and then all bets went off and I became a drooling teeming pile of mush-ness for sure. WHY? I am still trying to answer that one but it is the way he affects me...and why? I have no clue as usual with him. He is gorgeous and beautiful and all that good stuff and he makes me weak in the knees and brain-dead and why? I don't know, but he does. Just the way he is, doncha know.
Homeroom was and never is anything to speak of. There is no class per se and no classroom structure. It is merely I think a time-filler for the day and a chance to study and check yourself (no zits and no spinach in the toofers) and also a time for assemblies and such, so there we were and we just sat there.
IT WAS THE FIRST DAY OF THE YEAR, so there was no homework to do or anything...and I sat looking at and trying not to look at but failing miserably and looking at (surreptitiously of course...being mister kewl that I am), tah dah, CHARLIE.
CHARLIE. GOD I LOVE that name and him and of course I pretend I don't and he knows I do damn perfect critter that he is and I tell him he is a critter and pondscum and he counters with adorable pondscum and I have to give him that and THEN THE FUCKING RETARD HUGS ME. That is SO not fair and way out of bounds and, but what do I know cause by then I am mush and he knows it and...dead too by the way.
"You are SOO not coming to my graduation," I tell him and he says yes he is cause he will be IN it and I counter, well...duh, and so then I lose another round in the Dylan v Mister Perfect thingy and URGH.
Now I gotta tell you just in case you are wondering and I am sure you are cause I would be and all, but anyway...yeh, I am gay. I knew it in the crib or thereabouts, BUT never have done anything about it you know. NOT that I haven't had my chances. I have had a GAZILLION chances. Guys WANT me, gay or otherwise cause I am drop-dead...ok, maybe not, but I ain't bad and I have a devastating personality, Okay, it is not that bad and my family has a lot of money but no that isn't it either cause lots of my classmates come from families with money, and I don't know actually...but yes I have had chances but have sorta kinda you know just stayed...TAH DAH, single. Until Charlie, and it is not my fault and I am innocent warden cause he snuck up on me and took me hostage and, um...
ummmmm, Really isn't my fault. HONEST.
GOOD JUMPING JACK SHIT, what do I do now? I have NO clue.
We sat through homeroom looking at each other but not talking cause that is against the rules, and I was trying not to look at him as he sat looking at me openly and openly obviously liking what he saw and I was embarrassed as FUCK and blushing and he sat silently laughing at me AND HOW DARE HE, and shit...I MEAN, the nerve this...this...this Charlie person or whatever. Fuckturtles.
But then it was over and I had an English Literature class next and as luck would have it so did Charlie and also as luck would have it it was in the same room with the same instructor and good God...and yes, so did Frankie. LOL.
The whole day went like that, I mean...what's the odds. WELL, actually pretty good obviously, and I was about to run screaming to my guidance counselor and holler foul, or to my minister and fall down in front of him thanking God for Charlie or SOMETHING.
I did neither. I am a devout coward it would seem with a bit of a lazy streak also, my only flaw of course. So much for my bravery badge in scouts even though I was never in scouts but should have been and if I had been, BY GOD I would have been the bravest fucker in 4th grade...or something, like a very small and very young version of "Melissa McCarthy does the Boy Scouts". Her next picture I am sure...and so much for my reputation for being overly ambitious too. Double whammy.
He (that's Charlie of course) and I (that's me of course but who knew anymore) at the end of the day, (and OH REALLY? SO SOON?) Sigh, wound up standing by my car in the parking lot and he said he didn't have a car yet but he would soon and he REALLY liked mine and so did I I said, and then I offered to take him home and what was I thinking, and of course home meant MINE. Sigh, and just exactly how did that happen. Tell me please so it won't happe...so it will happe...FUCK.
OF COURSE mom liked Charlie instantly and so did Dad and my little brother thought he had just absolutely died and gone to somewhere else JUST from shaking hands with Charlie and I wanted to drop through the floor OR go to bed (hmmm) and...well, we did go upstairs and sit on my bed, and that's close sorta isn't it?
I had a million contortionzillion questions, like...
"Where are you from originally and how come I haven't seen you before?"
and as it turns out he was from south Georgia until about 3 years ago when his parents moved here... (explains the soft accent) and it also seems that he and I have had classes together for two years. Oh good, now we know exactly how observant I am, and I mused how I didn't remember and he said he had grown 2 1/2 inches over the summer and had also lost weight and I felt AH HAH vindicated and of course that was it and knew it wasn't. I AM JUST NOT VERY...sigh. I don't know. Some days I just want to throw myself in the Cuisinart and blend into the woodwork. Only I don't fit and that is THE ONLY REASON I DON'T if you must know.
Charlie (hereinafter to be referred to as HE or His Royal Perfectness or something like that) as it also turns out likes most of the things I do and that's kewl and I like most of the things he does and that is also kewl, and God. Only he can actually do them and I just like them and can I have a cookie now? and a nap?
Now what?
I was just about to find out.
Course I had originally expected that tonight would be me and Frankie and catchup or ketchup and fries and burgers and pizza and ice cream sundaes and...hearing all the stories about all the trouble he (did/didn't) get/got into in Europe and all the old castles and old this and that and well...that didn't happen. Not sure how except homeroom was me and Charlie and the whole day was me and Charlie and I only had one class with Frankie and we were at opposite ends of the room, and that was so not fair, but he seemed to understand and I wasn't sure I did. We did meet up at the end of the day and hugged some more while Charlie looked on and I explained between sputtering and hugging and kissing cheekies and how cheeky that we were the oldest and bestest buds in the world and Charlie said he had already figured that out and ok he is now Varmit #2, and then it was just Charlie and me and...
By the way, have I mentioned that I am convinced that Charlie is a gift from God. The only thing I don't know is WHY? But...I have a feeling I will find out. Probably a revenge thing from hundreds of years ago when I accidentally assassinated the Pope or something. I ran out of CoolWhip so I added some shaving creme and he bubbled to death.
CHARLIE AND DYLAN AND THE LIFE WE LEAD...
CLICK HERE FOR CHAPTER III
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