CHAPTER I: FROM OUT OF NOWHERE...

DAY ONE-
SWEET SURPRISE #1:

Okay, so anyway  Charlie & I are 20 somethings now, but oh my God how I remember that day so well...where it all began. Ten years or so and it seems like yesterday, but here's what happened...that fateful day.

It was early summer and I had just gotten my drivers license, WHOO HOO...and the folks had gotten me a car and oh not just any car, omg no it was a beauty. A beautiful black beauty. A Mercedes. An S550 Mercedes coupe, black and stunning. Real head-turner, and the car was pretty nice too. HAHAHA...and btw my birthday is the end of June, so guess what? They got a TWO FER.

A haven for four the brochure said. But Hell I am only one of me so plenty of room and it should have been a bigger deal than it was I suppose but the truth is I was used to this kind of thing. My family you know. They're pretty well off and so it was not unusual for them to buy this kind of car for one of their kids. I'm not even the only one. Nope I was one of tah dah, THREE. Yep. Big whoop. Got a brother Jack two years older than me (and when he graduated he got a Porsche), and a brother a year younger, Rick, (he has already picked out a BMW) and yeh, that's me...smooshed in the middle. Hahaha.

But so far at least I've done pretty well for myself considering all that smooshing. Pretty centered and well-behaved (I am convinced and prone to telling anyone who will listen) and as a child of privilege (but not battered by it I suppose) I'm pretty kewl if you ask me. Yep that's me. KEWL. THE EPITOMY OF KEWLDUMB, yep.

Anyway, so I got the car and okay so no biggie except I was now part of the DRIVING CLASS and ok that was a pretty big deal I guess. Yeh, 'cause now I could go anywhere I wanted without having to be taken and having to ask to be taken LIKE A BABY. 

Yeh, I do remember somewhere along the way thinking that now I AM NO LONGER A BABY anymore. Nope, ALL GROWN UP, well almost and I am a part of the adult class now or almost cause pretty soon I realized I will be a SENIOR, OMG, already? ME? NOW? A SENIOR? HI SKUUL SEENYAH? Whoo.

Yup...and then suddenly I WAS.

BAM! 

and I remember calling my brother Jack (or if he is feeling French...Jacque, depending on his mood). 
Real strange one he is.

Funny too. Jack and I are only two years apart, but we were never very close. Rick is my younger brother by one year and he is my BRO, you know? He and I just always clicked and I love him to death. He is SOOO mellow. He just kinda oozes along, lol and he is SO goddammed kewl it is almost annoying but there is something about him that says you just can't get annoyed at him. I don't know what it is or why but ok. But while Jack and I never had issues (as little kids we had the usual squabbles like all brothers do jockeying for position I guess and all that but that kinda ends somewhere along the line and poof). Now, we're just brothers but we might as well have been 20 years apart for some reason and I have no clue why. But it was Jack I called cause Rick had even less clue about high school ending than I did. He was gonna be a junior in the fall. I can talk to him about almost anything and he is the same with me and it has just always been that way. Jack? Not really. Not ever but he was the only person I knew who I figured had at least some recent experience with the phenomenon I was about to go through.

"Hey," he always answers the phone jauntily. I think he is on something but he swears he isn't. 

"Hey howrya?"
"Oh you know me. Always down for whatever is up. So what's up with you?"
"Just wondering."
"'bout what?"
"What was it like when you suddenly realized that high school was about to be over?"
"Oh you know me. I FREAKED OUT. YUP YUP YUP. I thouht OMG...and considered changing my age on everything, but nobody would believe that I was in 3rd grade and 6'3"...although I did seriously consider it."
"I'm serious."
"You think I'm not?"
"No."

"Well I am. Dylan boy...let me tell you. It sneaks up on you, like a thief in the night to coin a phrase, which I am good at as you well know."
"Yeh...hehehe."

"But babyface, you know what? You adjust. You really do. You just realign your reality and before you know it you are flying off the hi board and headed for the pool at a pretty good clip and at THAT point...there's not much you can do but aim well."
"Thanks Jack. I appreciate."

"Hey sweetboy, any time. Sorry, gotta run. Love you,"
and with that he was gone with a click sorta...and I was left to ponder. But you know, he was right. Homework was looming and tests and study and I got so busy and then Christmas and then back at it and those last few months FLEW by, and then a bunch of year-end of junior year parties and then a brief respite and then summer, and that flew by too. Before I knew it there I was. THE LAST YEAR OF MY LIFE, aka High School. Good God where DID the time go.

THEN...here it was.
New car, new world I guess. Life was BOTH ending and beginning and I had NO CLUE but the first thing I would have thought of was panic, and the LAST thing I would have thought of was LOVE. Trust me. NOT on my radar....NOPE. Not anywhere in sight, OR SO I THOUGHT. See, I had never considered love really. Had never had it that I know of and while I HAD figured out what KIND of person I would like I was in no particular hurry. Just my style. Except for a few friends and even fewer 'buds', I was pretty much a loner and I think probably most of my peers knew it. I had Rick of course at home and school and a couple of others but most of my classmates tended to give me my space and I barely noticed at least up to now. But ok...here it was...

the first day of school and I guess it was a day almost unlike any other but then it wasn't, but it was y'know? I drove myself to school of course. Yep. Just me all by myself and I parked in the student parking lot and yep I felt pretty good as I got out and kinda looked back at the gleaming black machine behind me that I, yes MOI, had just gotten out of...MY MACHINE, (Yep, the 'rents had even put it in my name, fools that they be).

So it is tah dah, AAAAALLLL mine, and well...I was feeling PURTY DAMN FINE, doncha know. Yep, and I strode right up to the doors of that big old (ok, brand new but...) HIGH SCHOOL BUILDING, opened the door and KABOOM. I was inside and it was ME, and POW. ME, the big high school SEENYAH, but I was kewl you know. Always am, dat's me. Big stuff kewl and all, always. I am notorious for taking everything in stride and not ever losing it you know, mah KEWL, and so there I was Mistah Kewl INNN the building and how rad is that, first day and all. I was taking it all in and just nodding and scanning and mentally absorbing (not to mention screaming inside LOL) and I was oh just SOOO kewl, or so I thought. In fact I was absolutely resplendent in my lack of humility. Course that never lasts long, oh no...not in MY world.

Anyway...I had my class schedule and all and had my books for first day classes in my backpack and had my locker combination with me and oh I was OH SO ALL PREPARED, I laugh...and I just started striding and not just walking cause this was DAY ONE and mere walking seemed SO mundane and so no I was sorta gliding down one of the main hallways to the Student Lounge, as evidenced by the sign by the door to it that said...

STUDENT LOUNGE 

all gleaming black mirror glass and brass trim and shit with copper raised letters, brand new and all spit and polish, and I opened the door and moved in...in my own kewl way of course and yep there I was IN the student lounge, and by GOD it felt good. Student lounge, HIGH SCHOOL student lounge, brand new school and first day and I AM A SEENYAH, I know I was thinking that as I noticed the room was almost empty, amazing...didn't know why. I went over to the canteen and ordered a COFFEE. Oh God yes, that was the thing you see. NOBODY who is ANYBODY and a HIGH SCHOOL SEEN YOUR...drinks Kool Aid anymore and not even that much pop anymore either. Milk? Only occasionally. Not much for beer yet, so YUP What's left? 

COFFEE!

COFFEE is THE drink of choice for all of us ALMOST ADULTS in the room. HELL YES...and EVERYONE I KNOW drinks it except my younger brother Rick but he will and...and I had been drinking it since sometime last year, and I got it with Suisse Chocolate Mocha creamer (black is nasty and yech) and turned and surveyed my new world and it felt good. OH GOD YES it felt good. MY KINGDOM FOR A...

Anyway, armed and fortified with my assortment of textbooks and my schedule and my backpack, all brand new of course and my smartphone and my laptop and pens and ok...I was ready TO DO THIS THING. YES. BY HELL AND DAMNATION I WAS...a bit nervous to be honest but only inside where nobody else could see cause I AM KEWL doncha know and of course I have a reputation to uphold and by GOD...

Whew.

I went out the door I had come in and then looked around to get my bearings and once re-oriented started down the hall toward my classroom, my homeroom. I looked at my schedule and the instructors name was on it and I didn't recognize the name, (must be new, LIKE ME...hahaha), but I went on and then there he was...

Frankie. My bud Frankie. He had been gone to Europe all summer courtesy of his 'rents so it had been awhile. 

Okay. You gotta understand. Frankie's parents have even more money than mine I think, (collectively, they all have FAR more than God...) and he (Frankie not God) is about as spoiled as it gets. Unlike me who is NOT, of course. ME? Oh merthee no. MOI? Spoiled? Never. Anyway, he gets everything he wants (I think it is called bribery) and he is always complaining he doesn't. HAH. Oh, and also btw, Frankie DeLisiano is as you may have guessed, Italian...to his adorable toesies as he puts it. Which combined with being spoiled ROTTEN TO THE COAHRE, makes him just short (he is barely 5'4" tall) of absolutely insufferable magna cum piss-ant arrogant...and he is my bestest friend since the crib. Yep, his mom and mine are buds from way back. So, of course I always always know what he is thinking and he pretends he knows what I am thinking and we both know he has no clue, and I laugh. Yep, he is true Italian stud muffin to the max and has a package the size of Yugoslavia or did until it collapsed in a heap and died. Hell, he could give out samples for a month and still have enough left to feed the starving children in Bangladesh for years. OR so he claims. I wouldn't know of course.

Like I said I hadn't seen him all summer, and he just got back and we needed to catch up and maybe in homeroom, although that was doubtful since talking is verboten, and when I saw him he saw me and we went flying and got into the biggest hug ever and it felt so good. Love that nutzoid Italian. Yes I do, in a good way of course...whatever that is. Course I am AHHHHLLLLMOST six feet and he is just short of a toddler and so it is kinda like trying to hug a bug, but we manage.

We hugged while talking and sputtering and stopped hugging and kept talking and sputtering, and then while looking over Frankie's shoulder...ummm...

Have you ever had this happen? Of course you have. We all have I think. You know? There are those people around you and you pass them and all and you see them but you really don't...I don't know. It's kind of weird now that I think about it but you see them but truthfully you don't. Maybe that is what is meant by the term wallflower, whatever that means. I have heard the term of course, but...

You know, I have wondered if maybe people or kids at least who aren't from very affluent families and means NOTICE more. You think? I think maybe that is true but don't know since I am of the former and never had to worry about having enough of anything. Not bragging you understand, just the way it is. Yeh I do think that maybe 'they' are much more aware of me/us than I/we are of them and that is kinda sad I think.

Anyway, you see these people, these people who just kinda blend into the walls and woodwork and shit and you see them but you don't and they don't really register in your brain I guess, and then...

Its not about classism or thinking I'm better than they or any of that shit I don't think, no. Of course not. I ain't that way but you just don't seem to notice them, but then...
YOU DO.
and yes,
I DID.
RIGHT THEN AND THERE I DID.

SUDDENLY, THERE...HE...WAS, 

standing almost in the doorway of the classroom but not quite and there was something vaguely familiar about him but I didn't exactly recognize him and yet I knew I had seen him a dozen times before or maybe a hundred or maybe a million times and ok, that might be an exaggeration but I knew I had seen him probably a lot but had never, you know, not really...SEEN him. But there he was and suddenly I WAS seeing him. OH YES. He was standing there and I stopped. Dead in my tracks. Stopped, stopped cold, DEAD stopped...and it was sorta like all the air had suddenly been sucked out of that big hallway, and I couldn't breathe. No I couldn't breathe or move or anything. I just stood there like an IDIOT and I didn't know why. I didn't know why or anything else. Nothing. This was NO wallflower he wasn't whoever he was, I didn't know...but by God I knew He was and wasn't and wondered how in hell I didn't know him and I knew I didn't but...I should, but...

Frankie caught what was going on and kinda evaporated into our homeroom, the varmit. Abandoning me in my hour of...something, but of what I wasn't too sure yet.

I just stood...there, and looked...at him this strange and yet not strange and yet yes...dude, and...

Have you ever been walking somewhere and it was cloudy and dreary and all of a sudden there was a ray of sunshine and it hit you and the minute that ray hit you it felt warmer and brighter and...it just felt all good and shit?

Well, that is what this was like. Seeing him. That is what he was like. Like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day and no I had NO CLUE why but he did and I stood there, helpless, caught. Caught up in...I didn't know what. Breathless and...

I just stood there and I kept telling my feet to move and that I had to get to class and Frankie was waiting and this was silly and I didn't know this dude from Adam and didn't care (but I knew I did suddenly and why I didn't know that either) and my feet REFUSED to move, DAMN FEET. Geez. I need them RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT, and they are fucking failing me and what is...

He was stunning, Unbelievably striking...I can't explain it. I sensed rather than saw he was tall. Rather tall, certainly taller than me but I didn't know of course how much taller, me being brain dead and all and oh yes did I mention that my brain had suddenly just inconveniently died all of a sudd...in the most sorry of ways, IT just stopped...working. PFFFFT.

GEEZ.

Anyway, he was extraordinary and he was captivating and I don't think I had ever been captivated before so had NO idea how that was supposed to feel but yeh I knew I did and not only captivated but mesmerized and really, it felt like being hypnotized...and of course I had never been hypnotized nope, not even at the county fair and also had NO idea what that felt like but I was sure this is what it did, you know, what it felt like and I felt like SUCH AN IDIOT and what did I know about captivation OR mesmerization OR hypnosis or whatever but there I was standing stock still in the hallway in front of my first class on MY FIRST DAY AS A TRUE ADULT, a SEENYAH, and here I was acting like a fucking juvenile and a girly one at that and omg this won't do and I must really...I must stop all this silliness but I couldn't and I knew it and .... GOD DAMN IT. STOP.

Nope, my brain or what was left of it from the melt-down said NO. You won't and right then and there I vowed to ask the 'rents for the money for a new brain since this one was obviously defective and failing me miserably and...

Odd, since I am a 4.0+ student, but in LIFE? Well, this was my first real test and I AM FUCKING FAILING IT. This will NOT do. Nope. NO SIRREEE. This will, oh who am I kidding.

He was lighting up the hallway and my world and everyone around me could see that of course, how silly and how embarrassing and I don't know...except there wasn't anyone around me and...I didn't know what to do. I AM A SENIOR AND...I KNOW NOTHING? EXACTLY HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Nothing in my past or present seemed to have prepared me for this and I had...no frame of reference or...

Nothing in my life or my body or anything that I knew seemed to be working. He was just standing there and so was I and we were looking at each other for what I was convinced was hours or maybe years but in truth I had NO idea and nothing. Nothing was happening. NOTHING...not my brain or my feet or my knees (now the consistency of porridge) or...and I felt at a complete loss and then suddenly I saw it. IT. 

IT...

started at the corners of his lips, right there at the corners and how I caught it I don't know since I was of course now dead by all the normal signs that detect life of any kind and stuff but there it was. An oh so slight upturn in the corners of his mouth and those beautiful lips and why did I say that and how do I know they are beautiful it is not like I have a lot of experience with lips except of course mom and a couple of old family friends and stuff. But yeh...and then it started to spread. It spread across his face ever so slowly and the room kept getting brighter and hotter and I just know I was beginning to sweat profusely, and oh good that is just what I need. First day of class SEENYAH YEAR and I walk in all sweaty for no good reason which is messy and so not kewl, and I am supposed to be oh so kewl and SHIT, and his smile just kept broadening and getting wider until it filled his face and he was glowing like an angel (DO angels glow?)...I am sure of it, and then I saw his lips move but I didn't hear anything, cause I was dead and dead people don't hear anything do they? Again I have no clue but I saw his lips move but WHAT DID HE SAY, and I didn't know and I just stood there like a FUCKTARD. GEEZ. SAY OR DO OR SOMETHING...IDIOT, and I couldn't and then I heard "Hey Hi," or something but I wasn't sure and then I heard..."HI," and I didn't know where THAT came from either and he smiled even broader and who WAS he anyway, I should know after all but I didn't and he just kept smiling the most beautiful smile I knew I had EVER seen and suddenly I realized it was me who had said "HI," back and where did that come from. I barely recognized the voice and don't remember telling myself to answer him and what the fuck was happening here and...

Then...omg, then, he took a step forward. Toward me. TOWARD ME. OMG. Still smiling and he took another step and then another until he was right in front of me RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, STILL SMILING, and now I KNEW I was dead. Yep. Dead as a dodo. Just put a posie in my folded paws and start shoveling. GOD he is tall, probably 6'3" or so and...WHAT IS HAPPENING?, I wondered to myself and to no one in particular and silently of course since dead people don't have voices do they and what the fuck is happening and he put out his hand and I took it and this was all someone else, and not me, and I was dead, and...did he know he had me from hello?

"Hi, my name is Charlie," I think he said, being dead and all I wasn't sure, and the world got brighter and the hallway was neon, and it was the most beautiful name I had ever heard in a voice that was like a symphony and a concerto all rolled into one and I almost started dancing (but caught myself...knowing that would have seemed terribly out of place...GOD what a DIPSTICK) and why didn't this happen while I was still alive when it would have meant something and I almost wanted to cry for this overwhelming feeling of lost moments or something...

"Hi, I'm Dylan," and of course that was me but who said that. Certainly not me but it sorta sounded like me but what do dead people sound like and I wasn't sure and...

"Dylan. I LIKE that name" and he smiled even more broadly and that was impossible I knew but there it was and I just wanted to lay down and have it over with and why wasn't I falling to the floor and I had no idea and I knew nothing except my name and I wasn't too sure about that, and...I must cause I just said it, but that was SOOO long ago...

"This your homeroom too?" This creature, this beautiful dude creature from I don't know where asked, and I smiled and said yes and immediately wondered how that was happening.

Awesome, yes that's it. He is Charlie from the planet AWESOME, and how did I not realize that before, and...

God how silly. I am. Are dead people silly? Must be and yet...

I had no clue. Yet there we were and talking like magpies well, talking anyway, and how was it since I am dead now. Suddenly we were moving through the doorway and he had his arm around my shoulders and I should be cringing and shouting angry, and no, I mean after all, how DARE he. Well, harumph...a strange dude I don't even know with his arm around me and...my GOD what is happening to me and it felt good and felt right and I died even more.

Is that possible? 

I mean, I always thought when you die that is it. Boom. Dead, and not in stages. What is that? First dead and then a bit more dead and then deader and then deader still...and that is silly and so am I and what planet is this and...I NEED A NAP! 

It's 8:15AM and I need a nap? YES. 

Well good luck with that one and we got to our seats or somebody's seats and he just kinda sorta in a way...I don't know, he took my backpack off me (not helped me with it mind you but took it off me, kaboom, good God as if I couldn't do it myself and probably not and FUCK...) and put it on the floor beside my chair and I felt flustered and then not and oh hell and then to make matters worse and how is that possible, he helped me into my seat. GOOD GOD. 

I am dead. WHO GIVES A FUCK what I feel, and do dead people feel? REALLY?

You know I am going to be a hit BY GOD, when I get home and can tell everyone what it is like to be dead. I will have them spellbound. Whoo. MERTHEE WHOOO and they won't believ...nm. I don't believe it either. I am dead but no I am not dead and this isn't happening none of it, and yes it is and...I don't know anything and I know everything because I AM A HIGH SCHOOL SEENYAH, doncha know and the world is flat and I am dead and...GOOD GOD!

Oh yes, btw.

Dear God in heaven, what time does the bus come to take me home to Jesus? 

I feel so silly being out here and dead and all and nobody seems to notice that or seems to care and where am I and this is silly and...and then I heard my name called, roll call I guess and I couldn't answer cause my tongue was dead which I know was also so silly since...dead people aren't really here or hear or should I answer? I didn't know so Charlie, that beautiful name of this dude I don't know but who is suddenly VERY important and why is that, can you believe? He answered for me and I was SOO embarrassed...but why? DO DEAD PEOPLE GET EMBARRASSED? EM BARE ASSED I SUPPOSE, but...

OGod. That is all I need to have my pants fall down first day of SEENYAH YEAR and geez...

Of course, Frankie was laughing his sorry Italian ass off the whole time I am sure of it. Well, pretty sure. Yeh, yes he was cause I could hear him. EVEN DEAD I could hear that sorry twit. Dang varmit.

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